Wrestling with Mexico
Wrestling in Guadalajara, Mexico
Okay, so the title of this blog is misleading. In a format like this you would expect it to be about the decision to move here or not. Sorry but that’s really up to you. What I want to talk about was my son’s decision to go into Guadalajara and catch some professional wrestling action.
I have a friend who’s mother thinks pro wrestling is legit but is convinced they faked the moon landings. I think it needs to be said here that my son has not believed that pro wrestling was “real” since he was 5 years old so it was more of a lark than anything. He really wasn’t expecting an athletic display of any kind.
He asked me to tag along and what I’m wrestling with is my emphatic decline of his offer. My general rule here is to go to anything and everything. It’s usually either fun or so bloody awful it’s funny. Here are some of the details that he reported back to me.
The neighborhood in witch the “stadium” was located sounded rather seedy. Actually it sounds like it is to” seedy” what “pleasant” is to Buckingham Palace. One doesn’t go to these events stone sober so my son and his girlfriend went to a saloon first. That’s right, he took a date. Romantic devil.
Braced with liquid refreshment they went and got tickets. There are 5 different price ranges. The cheap seats are in the balcony but you may not want those because the other patrons make fun of you and yell things like “Hey you better hurry your bus is leaving soon”. I assume there is some shame attached to using public transit because this line got great laughs from the other fans. The other four price ranges are a bit mysterious because you can sit anywhere you please. Go figure. However the rows of seats aren’t bolted down so don’t lean back, you’ll collapse the whole row and this is a very unpopular rookie mistake. You should also know that if you are a sensitive liberal ( I think of myself as a liberal but I have a sense of humor about it) with any regard for women or gays you might be taken aback by the crowds jeers. The general theme of the comments like “ nice speedo…did your husband make that for you?” and other references to the wrestler’s life partners seemed most popular with everyone in attendance. Men, women, teens and children all homophobic and all having a great time. Women walking around the audience were all requested to either spin or jump up and down. If you go, the correct response here is to laugh not actually jump up and down. Throwing cups of beer at the wrestlers or other patrons is quite acceptable. Take an umbrella because gringos are obvious targets. When my son was walking around they chanted “Son of Bush…Son of Bush” …big laughs.
The actual wrestling was of course awful. The men were fat and moved like fat men. The women wrestlers all had cesarean section scares. Gotta love working moms but they weren’t much into showmanship so the crowd is why you go. Everyone gets in the jovial spirit of the thing and everyone has a blast. I think I’ll go next time. Hope to see you ringside.
Kevin Collins, Collins Real Estate